Pain, Worry and Anxiety - an opportunity for transformation in Christ
Pain, worry, and anxiety have been part of the human condition since Adam and Eve. The Genesis record shows us that they were the first ones to experience pain and to show anxiety. I can only imagine the pain they felt when their belief that they were made in the image of God was destroyed by the lie of the serpent.
Thinking about their pain led me to these questions - when they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, was it direct wilful disobedience alone that caused them to sin? Or, in the pain and deception caused by the serpent’s lie, did they do something foolish to try and get back that feeling and knowledge of being like God? Was it just one or the other, or was it a combination of those things? We don’t know for sure, and Scripture doesn’t tell us, but I suspect it wasn’t all as simple or black and white as we in the church have made it out to be over the ensuing centuries.
The Bible tells us that after they ate the fruit Adam and Eve became worried, afraid, and ashamed, and this led to them hiding themselves from God. Ever since then, we have tended to hide ourselves away in isolation when pain and anxiety hit, trying to battle against it and subdue it on our own.
God intended that we turn to Him for advice, comfort, and help when we are concerned about a situation we find ourselves in, rather than allowing our pain to turn into worry and ongoing anxiety that drives us away from Him.
Over the years the dominant thinking in society and in the church has been that worry and anxiety are something we need to defeat, to make them go away so that we never worry again. We seek to do this in many ways:
Avoiding issues – refusing to look at them or talk about them, squashing down feelings, etc.
Replacement – We try to avoid thinking about anything that isn’t positive – often jumping to toxic positivity as a replacement.
Catastrophizing – jumping to conclusions, predicting negative outcomes, etc.
Isolating – separating ourselves from family and friends – internally or literally.
Comparison – creating an inferiority “I’m not good enough” complex.
Medicating our worries and fears – using prescription medication, excessive alcohol, or drugs. Body harm such as cutting, over or under-eating, excessive exercise, etc. are also things people turn to.
Spiritual bypassing – Spiritual bypassing is the thinking that what is needed is being more spiritual, using prayer or quoting Scripture to try and defeat it and banish worry or anxiety from our lives completely. (Jesus said in this world you will have troubles, but that He had more power than they did. John 16:33).
Demonizing our anxiety and fear – When we moralise our emotions - believe that painful emotions are inherently bad then we cannot allow them to work as God intended them to. We may even go further and demonize them. God’s plan for our emotional responses to situations was that they would communicate important things to us. Most of our worries start as natural concerns; but if we don’t know how to process and understand them, we will tend to be frightened by them, view them as bad, or demonize them. Fear and anxiety can become a demonic stronghold, but it doesn’t usually start that way and only happens in rare cases.
Retail therapy – Impulsive or compulsive spending
Romanticizing the past – always looking back to ‘the good old days’ and conveniently forgetting the problems that they held.
Dissociating – Dissociation is where we disconnect from one or more of the following: our thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, or identity. It's the experience of feeling detached from reality or the people around you, your body, and your overall environment. Dissociation can range from things like slipping into a daydream to avoid facing reality or sleeping too much, to more severe expressions such as completely losing any sense of time and where you are, pushing something into your subconscious and creating a situational amnesia, or checking out of the real world altogether.
We do these things to try and divert us from the pain and fear we are feeling, however, none of these things will ever make them go away completely. They simply put off our dealing with it.
Worry and anxiety are not bad emotions; they tell us some very important things. If we allow them to do so, worry and fear can give us precious and much-needed insights into our beliefs and our thought life. They can show us…
What is important to us in that moment
What we fear losing
Where we feel disempowered
Past areas of trauma, pain, and woundedness, so that we can look at them and seek healing
This healing restores us to an ability to manage life’s concerns healthily and stops unhealthy beliefs from becoming established in our lives as a result of those situations and our responses to them.
Is worry a sin?
In Matthew 6 Jesus tells us at least four times not to worry, and in that chapter nine verses are devoted to diminishing worry and weakening its power in our lives. Sadly though, over the years Christians have used this and other passages as the basis to call all worry a sin, and subsequently (knowingly or unknowingly), to torment people who show that they are worried. The central point of their argument comes from their perspective that Jesus is giving us a command when He says ‘Don’t worry about tomorrow’ and therefore ‘don’t’ means it’s a sin to worry.
There is a natural concern we can have about a circumstance that shows that we care. In the normal course of things that concern is managed and quieted down. However, unchecked concern becomes worry and unchecked and unmanaged worry can eventually lead us to doubt God and His goodness, but concern that tries to make sense of things and find a way forward is not a sin.
The temptation to give in to the kind of worry that seeks to dominate is primarily a temptation to put our trust elsewhere – anywhere but God. If we allow worry to dominate us and control our lives it can become a stronghold or prison in our mind, and may even become an ungodly master that rules us, and that we submit to. When that happens it causes us to deliberately turn away from God’s love and miss the mark that God has for us in our relationship of love and trust with Him.
This type of worry seeks to…
Fill our mind and overcome our heart and thoughts, bringing us into submission to it, instead of us bringing it into submission to ourself and to Christ.
Have us abandon hope, and allow it to become our master, instead of trusting God to give us hope and strategy for living.
Get us to strike out at God and accuse Him of being untrustworthy, and even of deserting us. It wants us to disbelieve the promises God gives us in Scripture – promises for our present, and our future hope and provision.
Steal our faith and our sense of purpose, giving us a form of paralysis and making us too upset to accomplish anything productive.
Going back to Matthew 6, is what Jesus saying a command, or is Jesus maybe saying something else here? Is He in fact saying, “You don’t have to worry because I’m here, I’ve got you in the midst of this; put your fears to rest!” We use the words ‘don’t worry’ a lot in our lives, and it’s usually in that context of putting fears to rest. For example, we say to a frightened child, “Don’t worry, I’m here with you. You’ll be okay now.” Or when it comes to paying the bill, we may say to someone we’re at dinner with, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this tonight.” We’re not commanding them not to worry; they probably weren’t worrying at all, in fact. We’re saying, “It’s alright, I’ll pay. I’ll cover it, I’ve got this.” And when it comes to our pain and worries, isn’t that true of Jesus? Doesn’t He tell us over and over in different places in Scripture, “I’ll provide, I’ll be with you, I’ve got this, don’t worry, don’t be fearful or dismayed”?
Making pain and worry work for you
Maybe it's time to think differently about the relationship between worry, anxiety, and spiritual growth. Instead of letting worry divert us and destroy our peace and relationship with God and others, let’s make it work for us. Yes, that is not only possible but much of Scripture talks about it. At the end of this article, you’ll find a list of Bible verses you can check out to give you even more insight into how God wants to transform your worry into faith, and a place of growth and provision.
There is an epidemic of anxiety in full attack mode in society and in the church at the moment. As Christians, we can know and model a better way of living than that of being in a continual state of worry and fear. We can know for ourselves, and model for others, how anxiety can be the very place where we meet Jesus. In doing so we direct our anxiety to work for us, rather than against us.
What if pain and worry are an opportunity for the transformation of our mind, bringing us into greater growth, maturity, and freedom? What if we could make our pain work for us, instead of against us? Where could that lead us? Take a moment and imagine the possibilities.
But how do we make our pain, sorrow, and worries do that?
Keys for transforming pain, worry, and anxiety
Identify core fears – In all our pain, sorrows, and worries, there are underlying core root fears that we have as humans, and research has identified several of these. These core fears fuel our pain, worry, anxiety, and even aspects of our grief. They are the fear of…
Abandonment and rejection – loss of important relationships.
Loss of identity – losing sight of who you are, or never finding who you really are.
Loss of meaning – losing the things that give my life its sense of meaning and belonging – relationships, reputation, sense of character, place in society, job position, etc.
Loss of purpose – personal purpose for being alive, sense of calling, destiny. It causes us to ask the question, “What’s my purpose now that this has happened?”
Loss of provision – finances, being able to provide for yourself or your family, not being able to meet payments, etc.
Loss of health – sickness and its effects on you and those you love.
Death – We can fear the way death may come, and the effect it will have on those we leave behind. The afterlife can also be a cause of fear for many.
As we can see in these, at its core our worry and anxiety are in most cases rooted in the fear of losing something that is important to us.
Understand why you’re really afraid of this thing, this situation. What do you think will happen to you as a result? What has happened previously in similar situations that are projecting forward in your mind onto this situation? Write these things down so you can see them clearly laid out before you. This may help you understand why that fear has power over you.
Turn to the Lord. He loves you and knows you better than you know yourself. As Christians, we take our worries to Him in relationship, and through cooperation with the Lord. By talking things through with Him, seeking His wisdom, and collaborating with Him, we discover the best way to move forward. "Tell Him all your troubles and pour out your heart longings to Him. Believe me when I tell you - He will help you!" Psa 62:8 (Passion Translation). He can show you the root fear and give you the strength to face it, as well as a strategy to work through it. He can, and will, give you peace as you turn to Him in it. He wants to be your help, your friend, and your Father in the midst of whatever you are facing.
Put your curiosity to work. In this process, it’s vital to put your curiosity to work for you, so that it doesn’t wander off down the track of negative options. Your curiosity is God-given and is one of the tools you’ve been given by God to help you in this moment. Employ it, seek answers, ask questions about why you feel this way, what the source fear behind it is, what are some ways to move forward, etc.
Face the problem and the feelings. Turn toward them, don’t run away from them or try to deny them, squash your feelings, etc. That will only mean you have to deal with a bigger problem later. Identify your core fear, the underlying thing you are afraid of. This will help give you clarity as you work through things.
Learn what your triggers are. What are the things that trigger an anxiety response in you over and over again? Is it the fear of financial lack, relational issues, fear of loss or abandonment, etc? Keeping track of how you feel in different situations, and being aware of how you react, will help set you up for success.
Seek trustworthy advice and help. Navigating emotions, triggers, and behaviours can be challenging without support and help. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, see a professional counselor, or seek out pastoral advice and support. Don’t try to face your fears and worries alone, let others in who can give expert help.
Learn how to process your emotions in healthy ways. Don’t just stuff them down etc. Find solutions that will help you when worry attacks. Therapy can help, talking to a friend, and talking things through openly and honestly with the Lord, are all great helps. Other things that can help are…
Participating in a hobby or sport
Taking time to unwind and relax
Going for walks or exercising in other ways
Scheduling phone calls to decompress with friends
Spending time worshipping and praising
Making sure you are setting aside time to utilize these practices will allow a routine to take place that helps you unwind and rest. Daily responsibilities can be mentally and physically taxing at times. These will all help you ultimately find safety in your thoughts. Learn to see your emotions as messengers and discover how they were created to work with you.
Reframing how we see things, having our minds renewed, and learning to live from peace and rest is an ongoing growth and discovery process. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re not perfect, or growth seems to be slow. The aim is to work with the Lord and allow Him to form the image of Christ in you so that you become someone who handles your worries and pain in a mature, stable, and Christlike way.
In the next article, we’ll look at one way to process pain and sorrow with the Lord and give you some great practical processing tools.
For study
If you’d like to do some Bible study on the topic of worry and fear here are some verses you can check out…
Deut 31:6; Psa 23:4; 27:1; 46:1-3; 94:19; 118:6; 139:23,24; Prov 12:25; Isa 41:10,13; 62:3; Matt 6:31,32; Luke 12:7,32; John 14:27; Phil 4:6,7; Heb 9:26; 13:8; Jam 1:7.